At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
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