We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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