I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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