Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
