Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
