Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The power of my boobs compel you
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
