Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
