You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
