one two three fourrrrnication!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize