I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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