I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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