just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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