Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
is it fun? or sober?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
