I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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