if you like me you must not know who I am
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm both gender and math confused
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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