Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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