Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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