maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
