You made me cry and you don't even care
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
