the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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