goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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