so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
