I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
