She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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