I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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