You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
