also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
