I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm sobbing to NWA
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
