Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You can't special order awesome
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
