Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
