Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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