i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize