they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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