Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
