everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
pop tarts are not kleenex
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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