we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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