Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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