i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
