I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize