you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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