In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
