Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Actions speak louder than pants.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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