i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
