hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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