god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
