i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
