Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
