Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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