I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I need a beard to bite.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
