PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I got inside last night via doggy door
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
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