i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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