And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
God I need to hump something, right now.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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