I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
