why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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