i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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