Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
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