don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
