I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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