She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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