I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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