I wanna passion pit in your ass
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
