If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
