How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
