is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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