Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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