Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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