My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
