I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
