he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
