I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
