Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
