when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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