But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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