there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
