speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
