is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
