dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
