We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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