at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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