You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
false alarm. still invincible.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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