Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
